there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
