I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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