69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
