Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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