Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
