wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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