Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
