so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
