Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Everything about him screamed your future.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
