I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Did I show you my penis last night?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
