someone owes me an orgasm
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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