Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
