I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
