What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
