perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
