Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
