she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
