just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
