so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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