I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
