My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Operation Purity has been aborted
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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