Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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