True but thats because hes a fetus.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
