Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
