Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
