her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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