i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
