R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Houston, we have a blender
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
