i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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