how can u be prego again
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
