I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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