put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
