I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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