Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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