if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she pinky promised me she was 18
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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