ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
