I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
