Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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