Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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