I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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