what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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