Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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