no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
