My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just tell him i said nine months
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
