I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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