when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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