Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
