because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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