he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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