10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
