This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
