Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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