almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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