My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
